If Only's

I woke up the other morning in an "if only" mood. "If only" my house was arranged differently. "If only" I could redo my kitchen. "If only" I didn't have a 35 foot long hallway- that I must walk at least 100 times a day! "If only" my laundry room was near my kitchen. "If only" I could happily dance through each day to 'I've Got the World on a String'. "If only" my kitchen magically cleaned itself 3 times a day. "If only" my children giddily came in the door each day and eagerly sat down to do their homework- yea right! "If only" we could afford the vacation we'd been saving for before our financial upset this year. "If only" Ethan would STOP spitting up everywhere. "If only" I could find the time to sit down and do what I want to do. "If only" I could be spiritually in tune every minute of every day. "If only" I could never yell at my kids again. "If only" I could get my kids to listen.

"If only, if only, if only".

Some days are like this. We all have them. I tried unsuccessfully to pull myself out of the slump. Finally I gave in and let myself wallow in it for a few hours. Katie and I cuddled up and watched a movie. We had snacks for lunch while my mood continued.

After nap time, I shook it off. So I'm working on being happy and content with what I've got. My hallway is great exercise; my laundry room is great and at least it's near the kids' bathroom; at least my children giddily come in the door (even if the homework part isn't as giddy); at least our kids are getting to learn from watching us save for something we really want; my life is not set to music, but I do have a cd player in the kitchen; at least Ethan is weaned now and spitting up less; ocassionally we have a whisper week or whisper Wednesday and quiet things down a bit; someday I will find the time to do what I want- there will be plenty of time for that when my kids are gone, for now I'm their busy mom. I'm working on all the rest of the things.