I is

To have another baby or not to have another baby??  I have wrestled with this question for months.  Jared has been adamantly against having another.  But I've been open with him as I've been trying to find out for myself what I thought we were supposed to do or what the Lord wanted us to do.  I've prayed and prayed and just can't find a firm YES or NO answer.  At times I've felt good about having another, even feeling like someone was still missing (like when I was recently making up lunch plates in a row like usual and accidentally added a fifth kids plate), but then at other times I've felt content with the 4 we have.  Anyway, the more I've talked about it, the more open to it Jared has become. 
So for the past few days, I've been trying to figure out how to take a test and have it go ok with Jared (since I was fairly sure it was going to come out positive).  I just kind of said, "well I guess it's time to take a test again".  (I do this whenever I'm not sure).  We were sitting on the bed and I was trying to gauge what Jared's response was going to be (him a little less aware of my certainty that it was going to be positive).  When the 3 minutes were up he said (thankfully with a smile),"well go check it, you either is or you isn't".  I went in and checked it and sure enough it said "pregnant" and I shrieked "oh Jared, I is!" 
Jared has always been excited when he's received this news and this time he was too.  I think he has his worries (mostly financial), but overall he's excited about another baby too.  And the Lord always provides for us.  So welcome baby 5!